Late Night (Mare)

Suppose Jug A has a bigger mouth than Jug B.

I am figuring how every single precious drop of wine in Jug A can be poured over into Jug B without any of it being wasted. I am probably looking for a funnel so that I would not be wasting my resources. Yet on the other hand, we cannot deny that skills are essentially needed as well. Either ways, I am still stuck.

How can I disciple and impart better without diluting the standards of my disciples?

I use to be such an averse user delegation because of the risk of failure yet I have been empowering because of the power that lies in it, an irony, isn’t it? Yet I believe I am disturbed when such things are not done well or taken seriously because we are dealing with future generations! If discipleship is not done well, gone is our future. We have purchased the future with our present, we had better do our present well.

Dreams & Ambitions

No one really bothers about the ambitions that we sketch on our drawing blocks when we were young even if we bet with all our candies and chocolates that we will become one when we grow up. We would always think that our ambition is most distinguished, but actually not too far away, the boy on the adjacent seat share the same ambition as we do. I am beginning to think that ambitions are just something which our pre-school teachers make us think of so that we will be motivated to study hard, get into Primary School, take PSLE, O Levels, so on and so forth. Before we could even actualise our dreams, we find ourselves trapped in an elitist education system.

It is good that ambitions spur us on to work harder, but I am rather bemused by the systems that the world impose on our liberty to dare to dream.

I am supposed to be sleeping right now but because of this abrupt uncertainity of where I should be heading next, I have decided that I should review my academic pathway again. Now that I have checked out the possible academic pathways that I can take, I am very much assured! I am still keen on pursuing a Diploma in Mass Communication, but whether or not I will pursue it as a career in the future, I will decide as how God wants me to at a later point in time!

To be able to post this entry is definitely a breakthrough for myself. I cannot believe that I am beginning to take charge of my own future instead of just brushing it off, like how I always do in the past. I had always thought that (academic) life was but a smooth-sailing and straight path for everyone, until I withdrew from college – that was when I discovered that it ain’t as easy as I thought it was.

Nonetheless, through this period of moulding, not only have I convincingly know better what I want do in the future, I am glad that I am beginning to align my ambition to what God wants me to be, as well as how God can use me to be. I am still not full sure yet of what I will become eventually but I will leave it to God’s plans and timing, everything, in His steps!

Kiss Goodbye

I speculate we all didn’t feel the pinch until the very last minute, at least that is, for me. Cliche as it may sound, don’t you have to agree that goodbyes are the hardest words to say?

The whole drama was one of a bittersweet episode. As much as we were reluctant to let go of someone dear to our hearts, we were proud to release him for a good cause, to be a church planter in the making!

Daniel Liang, you have God and a team backing you up all the way!

Tis’ The Season To Be Grumpy

7 cards,

down.

(Title is too long)

Disclaimer: If you are expecting pictures, this post is not for you!

Speaker: Xanthe
Title: New & Interesting Discoveries in Heroes Camp

1) I talk rubbish or go completely incoherent when I am conversing in the dark

I met Central D on the first night, at the porch by the netball court. My objective mainly was to prepare their hearts for the camp. The mood was meant to be light-hearted yet serious but I ended up being the butt of the joke that I cracked by accident, or rather, out of insanity. All hail the shooting star!

Therefore, lesson learnt: Never challenge on a public setting in dark and damp areas, especially when your eyelids weigh a tonne!

2) I understood the significance of getting down on our knees

I probably knew it in my head that kneeling was a physical act of surrender but I never really comprehended the significance of it only until I got down on my knees after battling with my own pride for an extended period of time.

3) I must have been crazy to exhibit such outrageous belief in the underdogs

By far, I have only led one other school apart from the one I grew up in. It took me quite a while before I developed a burden for the people in the school. It was only during the Oasis Camp in June 2008 that I saw the need to address my burdens to the people. Six months later, the community expanded.

This camp, I reckon God instilled another burden in my heart for the people in New Town. It is definitely not me to possess such faith and conviction that a community of seven can be built in a school whereby the culture is completely different from my Alma Mater’s, by the end of 2008. To be honest, I do not even know if it can be done. Still, I delivered it anyway. I’ll deliver what I can, God do the rest!

On a side note, I thought God could be preparing my heart for global missions.

4) I had just put one of my foot into a coffin when I unconsciously proclaimed, “If I perish, I perish!”

This is in conjunction with what I shared in point 3. I was probably too convicted that I completely neglected the fact that I could have gotten myself into serious trouble when I gave each and every one of them a huge dressing down on their motives and behaviour. When I say serious, I meant business.

“You must be crazy to dare to mess with God’s people.” That statement could have gotten me killed, literally, but thank God He intervened by moving in the people’s hearts. Well, at least I believe He did. Besides, I am glad that I stood up for God’s people!

5) My hair stood on ends when my challenge were exactly what people responded to

I cannot give you a elaborate explanation of this because I want to respect the privacy of the people but this was confirmed by three specific individuals, namely Valerie, Phoebe and Jeremiah.

When Central D gathered on the third night, Valerie shared that her prayer was answered through me when I spoke to her during Immeasurable.

Phoebe responded to the exact thing that I was about to confront her about.

Jeremiah wanted to meet me so he could share about his life. I confirmed them even before he told me anything. That got him stunned because he has never mentioned it to any one at all.

6) I had a chance to support sing for Torch and Nick during Camp

I am particularly inspired by Torch when he mentioned how each and every musician and singer matter in ministering to the people. I never saw it in this light! The stage is not merely owned by the Worship Leaders. In technical term, I am a support singer on stage, but in actual term, I am a co-worship leader!

Last but not least,

7) I shall no longer be ashamed, insecure or shy about my ambition

Dear God, I want to be an international photojournalist. I do not have any specific idea where or how I can go about church planting, to be honest, I do not even know if I can get into the course that enables me to be one! But wherever you place me, I want You to know that I want to and I will give my best at every stage.

In conclusion, this was one of the best camp that I have had ever since I took on leadership roles. In the past I was always so conscious that my people will not be ministered to. This camp, I decided to swing to a different angle. I told God that I don’t care whether the people around me get ministered or not, You had better speak to me! Yes, a very selfish prayer, I know, but seriously, for the people to be ministered, the leader must first be ministered!

To be frank, I dreaded public speaking, (I am very shy by the way, my personality reveals that I am an introvert eh), much less challenge in public, unscripted. I decided to give it a try any way because I wanted to flow with the spirit. Thank God, the unit challenge was fruitful. We saw real, open and genuine sharing from the four individuals, and covenants were made. These can never be achieved by myself. God must have been the one working behind all these scenes!

I am, I want to, and I will invest my all in building my life around the Great Commission – to see the world be changed.

Congratulations for being the survivor of this long post.