Unafraid, unashamed?

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I reckon next year is going to be a tough year for me, not like 2007 was not. On the pessimistic side, I speculate the many trials that await me. On the hind sight, I already foresee a huge catastrophe which would cause my faith to be shaken.

While my Dad drove past a messy (not that messy, actually) accident along AYE, in addition, my Mum was chiding me for not taking up enough household responsibilities, I struggled to make a good juggle with my thoughts. Half of my brain was asking irrational questions like where is the victim, why is there no blood, how did the car crash, et cetera, while the other half was kept occupied with slightly probing questions like what does it mean to be an unashamed Christian.

Symptoms of failing eyesight reveal that my Grandpa is already at the peak of his life. Coincidentally, he walks into the room and pries on my disappearance in the wee hours on a Sunday morning. Following that, he gave a stunning rhetorical question. I wished I had enough courage to admit since it was for a good cause, but I could only bring myself to blurt out a soft “no” while I hung my head in despair. He ended his interrogation with a stern “no” to my attending church.

I am sorry, God.

Crap meat

The dentist plastered brackets onto my lower teeth yesterday and it is hurting so badly it was impossible for me to chew on any food. I had to throw the entire bowl of half gnawed duck noodle, my grandpa offered to pack for me, into the bin while he is out. Guilt stricken, I covered it with the remnants of other food particles in the bin.

This move actually reminded me of the days back then when I tried to smoke past my Mum when she attempted to feed me with grisly tasting food or tonics like Brand’s Chicken Essence.

While everyone is busy making preparations for the new year, I am still living in the past and rushing myself through a thick pile of overdue Christmas cards.

As I switch on the radio tuner to 90.5, it occurred to me that it has been a while since I satiate my taste buds with good music. Superman (my Zen Stone) has been depleted of its lifeline, and I am unable to energise it due to temporary technology defficiency. Meanwhile Superman can continue to be snuffed out.

The sudden inclination to post the above was also because I walked past Harry’s @ Esplanade the other day and was eminently frenzied by the Jazz beats fuming out from its doors. When I turn 18…

I digressed too much. Time to get back to writing cards.

A Christmas Masquerade

Captions available on Central’s blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is your habit?

Habits are hard to break. Especially when something has become so inculcated in your life, whether awake or in slumber, you will never stop speaking about it, thinking about it or even fretting over it. Even when you are half conscious or staring into blank space when lectures bore, you find yourself dreaming about it.

Zachary’s SMS roused my brain to come up with a 5 word topic sentence for this entry in mere 10 seconds.

This week is supposed to be Sabbath week before school re-opens. Not many of you might know this but I did not manage to make it to J2. Coming from the mouth of Xanthe, it sure took a lot of pride. Strictly speaking, I am bad at articulating my emotions but my eyes and smile never fail to give me away if you read me closely. I no longer feel comfortable talking about studies because I was once bitten, twice shy.

To aggravate matters, my aunt had to add fuel to the fire. Since I was unable to indulge in any form of escapism because I moved in with her, I had to swallow my tears and put up with her (unlawful) discriminations of how irresponsible I was with my own life, my studies and my future every now and then.

Words possess the power of a double-edged sword. It has the power to build up, yet on the other hand it tears down one as easy as ABC. The reason why I get hurt could be because I read too much into people’s intentions. Then again the reason why I am encouraged could be because of Proverbs 25:11. (Hint: A tag could simply make my day!)

I would rather my heart break for things which are eternal than things which are temporal.

 

 

 

If you are looking for a perfect team, quit finding. If you are looking for a team that constantly seeks to improve, this is the team.

Zachary’s 20th Blanket Party